pro cras

I've been putting off working on my advisor's assignment.

I know this is bad. It's been for several reasons. The latest, I coupled my attempts to get in touch with mom with finishing the assignment. But I've done that.

The worry, she'd respond immediately. And in a way that would get me all riled up such that I couldn't work on it.

But there's no response. Meaning she's either thinking about it, or she's away from the email. I can't decide.

But there's a third alternative--she's giving back to me what I was giving to her.

Which is possible.

And I don't know what's worse, a response or no.

Anyway, it leaves me with no excuses other than I have some problem with the assignment, which I do...

I'm afraid. Afraid it's not good enough.

Well, time to face those fears.

Oh, the review

yeah. it went pretty well. tried to cull some of the things i'm never going to do.

was moderately successful.

projects: 60

someday-maybe: 350

todo: 140

I know those numbers are a little high, but I've been procrastinating.

On to the paper for my advisor.

And substance abuse. I know I haven't been posting on that lately. It's because I haven't been able to aford it.

can't tell you how mad i am

"thanks, coward, hope everything goes well for you."

don't worry. it will. at your expense, if i have to.

makes me crazy. why do i have to be the one who is together, in control. those mofos get way more money and respect and i'm the one...

well, those at the bottom have always shoveled it.

and if benjamin's right, the revolution will vindicate all the blood spilled, congealed in the artworks of civilization.