Tough Situation

I'm in a bind and need help.

I don't know what to do. I'm already out of money, haven't paid rent this month yet. I owe about a thousand to the credit card company, which isn't much, but they want it now, I fear. My health insurance runs out in about two and a half months, and I'm not sure whether or not I need to front the eight hundred dollars (which I don't have) to get my drugs.

And there's no income on the horizon.

I think my brother can bail me out for the moment, and maybe I can scrape by with that help through the summer, trying to get a last minute teaching position.

But for the summer, brother to the rescue. So I hope.

the butt ends of my days and ways

twice, thrice smoked cigarettes.

when you roll, you can take your butts and break them up and roll them again.

it isn't pretty.

but what is when you're impoverished.

the worst part--i don't have enough.

it's unfair, but the world is unfair

i was told that i could retain my position if things turned around.

yet my responsibilities have been taken away from me by others.

i was never given a chance.

posting away like i'm unemployed

so, had a nightmare.

daymare, really.

woke with a start. sleeps been screwed up lately. have had alarm issues.

was fired in part for this.

so. feeling like i've had too much sleep. feel almost rested.

so i know something's wrong.

get up, look at the clock. damn. missed the train, again.

then i remembered. it's the weekend.

gosh, loosing this job is screwing me up.