man do i wish i had that ativan

so, i need to have five bucks before sunday so i can refill the lamictal.

and i need fifteen for the ativan before they send it back. it'd be real embarrasing to tell the psychiatrist i couldn't pick it up because i didn't have the money.

wonder if he'd believe me.

i don't know if i believe me.

trying to get a handle on the finances. got gnu money, which, aside from some minor annoyances--which i'm sure are my fault, seems sweet.

but it produces anxiety like a mofo. to see where you stand, how many thousands you owe.

and all my dreams of the vacation melt into air, to steal from berman stealing from marx.

gnu cash

so, getting serious. about how little money i have. but it's difficult.

seems the free software--can't get it to recognize how far in debt i am. it seems to flip it to a positive.

so, instead of being under $1100 bucks (except loans, bills, etc)...it seems to think i have some $900.

if only that were the case.

maybe i have to wait 'till i have a positive ballance.