recalcatrant

it's a choose your own adventure. in a way. whichever way the wind's blowing.

as long as you're blowing.

oh.

and how soon it fails.

though, even self-indulgent, there's just that touch of the other.

and since i haven't gotten all lacian on you lately. it's the big one.

looking for an analyst. of the lacanian variety. if you can find it, it's in this city.

but i'm strictly bridge and tunnel.

manhatta's dead.

the autobiographic

this is not what you think it is.

far more borring.

Weintraub. the man with two watches.

the man who could lecture on a phrase. "and words had changed their meaning"; haven't they always.

well, he did it. and i can't remember what he said.

it's a shit-poor memorial to a great man. and i mean that, in spite of the gym placement test.

memories half remembered. time spent with him and not with dillan. well, you've got to do something, if you're not watching the mcgloclan group.

and words had changed their meaning. ninety minutes, he made it dance the way that lacan made petite object a dance.

the man, confusing. never understood. spqr, role playing games, romans on the moon. and how don't we know. the seas named in latin.

they say there's water there.

looking for a lacanian

well, i called columbia psych.

might as well do it right if you're going to do it at all. especially with the head shrinkers.

hopefully, they'll find me one that takes my insurance.

Fits and Starts

it's not why i do it, but readers seem to come and go in fits and starts.

which is fine. again, it's not why i do it. i don't even know why i started, but it feels natural.

i've always been writing for the big Other. even in my personal journal--private stuff. always revising, always improving.

it feels good. somedays, when i'm breaking down, it feels like i've taken a bottle of ativan afterwards. not what i expected.

still, it will be nice when someone follows, when someone leaves comments.

caution--geek post here

there's something about the way the doctor and his companions work.

and it's been a progression, i understand.

but lately... it is just too close.

basically, what i'm saying is the doctor is petite object a.

women and men fall in love with him. he cannot respond, for some reason. though he feels it.

yet he's onto another adventure. he cannot be. and those who fall in love with him, they find some thing else. some other reason. which separates them.

they don't betray their desire, even in the face of love.

they give up love for desire.

ethics at its finest.

lacanian terminology

lots of people get tripped up by this.

lacanian terminology:

for starters:

mirror stage

real-imaginary-symbolic

petit object a

the big Other

well, that's enough for a start

mirror stage--one of the first. human babies are not fully developed at birth. they are in the real. but they loose that.