Adwords and Paranoia

Hi.

I think that I'm going to start blogging on this arts website. I know--I haven't been too consistent posting here, but they require a certain number of posts a week, and maybe having homework will get me into better habits here and there.

The thing that gets me is the guy who runs the blog wants me to set-up an Adwords account. Fine. But he wants my password, which makes me nervous.

Do you think that's sketchy?

twice

so, i get this statistical report every week, letting me know things about the readers, like ssns, credit card numbers, sexual orientations, astrological signs, that sort of thing.

but it also tells me if people are searching and find my blog what they are searching for. not surprisingly, gtd and unemployed gtd are up there.

but also is bidet porn. not once, but twice.

wacky world we live in. i don't even think i've seen a bidet in real life. but now i know what my next letter to barely legal is about.

362880

they say, or rather, phill dick says, that you only need 9 indicators to unambiguously identify a person. that's less than 400,000, if taken factorially.

well, maybe it's exponential.

hey

so, i just gotta little freaked out, because i was seeing that a couple of people, strangers, really, were reading me.

There's someone out there who's checking things out and although i'm anonymous, i have to admit that i broke down and told someone i was doing this.

so i assumed the person i told was reading it as a way of getting into my mind.

now i see other people actually reading it because...

well, for their own reasons.

so i took down the map thing. i like it better when it's just me writing and responding to the comments.

at first, i just wanted anyone to try and read.

now that i know some have tried, all i want is to go on.

so no more reminders of who's following. it flatters my ego enough to feel that some may chance upon this blog.

really, that's all i want.

not to be writing in oblivion.

so the map served its purpose. it let me know that some were reading.

and for some personal failing in myself, i couldn't continue this unless i knew that from time to time another human being chanced upon it.

but now i know that seems to happen.

so no counter.

no map.

no who last read when.

just back to writing and hoping that something i say will strike a cord with someone else.

which is all this ever was about.

look i ain' trying tgo tive you the fortune and fame.

let me cut it short.

mother flippers...

now i'm hearing stuff. and i know that's new. at least i know that's in my mind.

gosh darn.

and i know i'm not supposed to be hearing things. it's freaking scary.

i know i'll make it. i just don't know how much longer i'll be me.