Here we go

I was going to stay late to get things done, but I don't care.

Every minute here is special. And I don't want to spend another minute than I have to.

This hurts.

even though i love you

i have to admit that this takes away some of the pain.

to confess.

anonymously.

and i have to tell you about how i fucked up the job i had.

i misinterpreted. which is a big mistake, or it used to be, in my chosen life-persona.

it just keeps going on and on, so you might as well skim

i think that the pain of loosing a job will hit me tomorrow.

and i'll be all productive.

if it all works out right, i'll finish shelving. clean the apartment and go running.

and then probably feel so good about myself that i'll call friends to go out drinking and get turned down and get as sauced on my own as i am now.

but the pain will come back.

and what will i do with it? make it productive? change my life?

or sink deeper into self-pity?