Friday, July 9, 2010

Therapy again

Just hanging in there.

The therapist said some interesting things about honesty and resistance. Resistance I'd not dishonesty. Without resistance we'd be too raw, too damaged. It's protective.

I feel like I let down my resistance pretty far today. I do feel raw, like a nerve.

But it's better to feel this way than to feel nothing at all. To live like a zombie like I sometimes do.

But I am also tired. It's exhausting to go through this. Maybe the heat, the lack of drugs and food is catching up with me. And a little too much sleep.

I took some chances, expressing my frustrations at therapy--that it seems too much like addressing the symptoms and not enough like addressing the core.

And even sharing with him the pain that I feel and my understandings of it.

But mostly, I feel the withdrawl from medication.

It sucks.

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