twice

so, i get this statistical report every week, letting me know things about the readers, like ssns, credit card numbers, sexual orientations, astrological signs, that sort of thing.

but it also tells me if people are searching and find my blog what they are searching for. not surprisingly, gtd and unemployed gtd are up there.

but also is bidet porn. not once, but twice.

wacky world we live in. i don't even think i've seen a bidet in real life. but now i know what my next letter to barely legal is about.

the autobiographic

this is not what you think it is.

far more borring.

Weintraub. the man with two watches.

the man who could lecture on a phrase. "and words had changed their meaning"; haven't they always.

well, he did it. and i can't remember what he said.

it's a shit-poor memorial to a great man. and i mean that, in spite of the gym placement test.

memories half remembered. time spent with him and not with dillan. well, you've got to do something, if you're not watching the mcgloclan group.

and words had changed their meaning. ninety minutes, he made it dance the way that lacan made petite object a dance.

the man, confusing. never understood. spqr, role playing games, romans on the moon. and how don't we know. the seas named in latin.

they say there's water there.

GTD and unemployment

hi.

i've noticed that most people who find this page through search are interested in gtd and unemployment.

being both unemployed and a gtd advocate, i think i'll write a few more posts about this.

and it's an interesting marriage.

i keep worrying

worrying that my family will find this.

they say you only have to give nine markers and you are identifiable. i've given off more than that.

who else is single, manic-depressive, abuses substances (wine and beer today), is organized via gtd, broke, lonely.

well, here's to you should you figure it out.

Hello neighbors to the north

Hey Winnipeg. if you come back, drop me a line.

Fits and Starts

it's not why i do it, but readers seem to come and go in fits and starts.

which is fine. again, it's not why i do it. i don't even know why i started, but it feels natural.

i've always been writing for the big Other. even in my personal journal--private stuff. always revising, always improving.

it feels good. somedays, when i'm breaking down, it feels like i've taken a bottle of ativan afterwards. not what i expected.

still, it will be nice when someone follows, when someone leaves comments.

They're so great

so, went on the interweb to see if the boss had responded to my email. the one asking him to spell out why i was fired.

unintentional consequences. there are some readers out there and not everyone you'd expect.

but they can read between the lines and know that i've been. well. they think it's of my own accord.

which is cute. and it's cute that they're so concerned.

see, i also sent out a carefully worded email thanking everyone for being such good coworkers. calculated risk. but didn't feel i could just leave without it. gotta give your people props.

well, not my problem. let the boss tell them.

he's really good at confrentation, from what i've seen. think of all those warnings he gave me.

oh. the fun's just started.

this life.

so lonely.

and i know i dump alot of shit on you.

well. that's how it is.

you're alone, even in a sexual relationsip.

but i feel it at the moment. islands. i just wish there were juniper.

undsoveiter. ad nausium. en ho logos. per chsitom dominum et...

vaya con dios.

et totalium los allii, pero , lo siento, de nada de nadna. da todos los playas el quealque ego nos vostrum... que tengo la lengua? adonde, quos ego. it's all in sinu.

sinus. fold therefor thrinity. lap. harbor. sail

thus endeth the lesson.

not moving now

I picked up the domain name for this blog. was thinking about moving before people really saw this--figured i had nothing to loose.

now that i've got a couple of hits (and someone in nyc loves me!), i think i'm going to hang here until i've got a sizable crew who can follow me over there.

and i don't seem to be able to set it up anyway.

jees. almost signed this with my other name.

anonymous coward.

i'm an idiot, but an anonymous one

so, I thought i had a reader.

Kept looking at the map and every time i did, saw that a person from new york was reading this.

wow, my home town and already have a fan.

and of course i do. but it's not who i thought it was.

i mean, who could possibly have read this 44 times. they'd have to be following it from day one. which he was.

then it hit me.

it's me.

so i guess i do have a reader.

map's back

Obviously, i've got mixed feelings about this one.

for one, it's freaking cool. I mean, it's really cool to see people from all over the world who've looked at the sight.

yes, i know that's vain. But hey, i tell you so much about me, it's nice to know a little about you--the general area you're from, how often you've glanced at this, your social security number... doesn't seem too intrusive.

I took it down last night because i was worried about how it would change the way i write (and more on this in a minute).

Then i thought i could just get by with one of those how-many-times-people-have-seen-this counter.

But i couldn't find one.

so, back to the map.

and as far as how it will change my writing, i think it will make it better. seeing more and more people from different places take the time to merely load the page makes me want it to be better for them.

it's nice to speak to you

just someone out there.

who, for whatever reason, has decided to read these rambling things.

it's nice to talk to you.

hey

so, i just gotta little freaked out, because i was seeing that a couple of people, strangers, really, were reading me.

There's someone out there who's checking things out and although i'm anonymous, i have to admit that i broke down and told someone i was doing this.

so i assumed the person i told was reading it as a way of getting into my mind.

now i see other people actually reading it because...

well, for their own reasons.

so i took down the map thing. i like it better when it's just me writing and responding to the comments.

at first, i just wanted anyone to try and read.

now that i know some have tried, all i want is to go on.

so no more reminders of who's following. it flatters my ego enough to feel that some may chance upon this blog.

really, that's all i want.

not to be writing in oblivion.

so the map served its purpose. it let me know that some were reading.

and for some personal failing in myself, i couldn't continue this unless i knew that from time to time another human being chanced upon it.

but now i know that seems to happen.

so no counter.

no map.

no who last read when.

just back to writing and hoping that something i say will strike a cord with someone else.

which is all this ever was about.

Shout out to the Holy Land

Hey,

So excited. That map thing--it showed me that someone from Israel viewed my blog. And the embarrasing poetry post at that!

How exciting.

It's really wierd, though, how do people find this thing?

Anyway, whoever you are over there, all my best.

And peace.

go god garn

All that sheit that the xians say about blasheme... they say things like sugar when they mean human excrement and when they say f@uck, they mean the unlawful understanding of another.

so, just understand it is the intent, not the expression. and when they get all higher than you, drop a safe on them and see what comes out of theiri mouths

i know it woun't be grammatically correct...

andy maybe, probably i shouldn't have another.

but i will.

and to all who my be listening..

I', mad bad and drunk.

damn you. damn you reader. go and read somewhere alone.

and i'm sick of your advice.

i know perfectly well how i'm fucking up my life.

and you're right.

which gets easier and easier to say; as the compassion erodes.

dog gad damn.

all my life.
spilled out on paper.

no.
i hate egerhing and o can't tu[e anymore

Meditations

All this new fame has me wondering--why would anyone want to read this. And I have some ideas:

experience: I have some. Not exactly unique experience, but maybe that's a good thing.

Not totally clueless: I know a few things: been around the block a few times. Know a good romanian place.

Wisdom: I hate it . Think it's psychotic. It's like a horoscope or a fortune cookie. You recognize the truth of it after the fact.

Truth: I guess this is kind of confessional, and as we know from foulault (sp), that's a technology for truth-production.

Not entirely an attension seeker: this is anonymous and that counts for something.

I could go on, but don't want to tire you.

Wow, somebody read my blog

actually, TWO people read some of it. and someone read it four times. wow.

i guess it's kind of like those million monkeys writing shakespeare. post enough and...

It's not really a secrete. I think there's this little map to the right which says where they came from. And if you think that's creepy, you can use a proxy. or if that's too geeky, i can take it down... unless i'm the only one that can see it. then it's really creepy and i'll take it down.

not really sure how the fame's going to change me. i'll try and keep it real.

suppose being anonymous will help there.

and sorry for the lack of posts yesterday. the day kind of got away from me.

and i suppose the lack of readers may have been getting to me.

but no longer.

Not bad

43 posts in 6 days.

averaging about 7 posts a day.

That ought to keep you happy.

morning, sunshine

Well, hello there.

whooh. did a number last night--not a jay, well, not dope anyway--.

it's been a good run. not that i'm retiring. too early for that, and i've got work to do.

still and all, it's been fun, these last few days with you.

and, well, sometimes it's just plain and.

that said, let's gear up. fall's a cummin, as the old poet said.

must have, haven't they said everything?

and i know, that was the dread comma splice. never thought i'd admit it. say lovey.

so, just you and me kid. let's make it a good one.