map's back

Obviously, i've got mixed feelings about this one.

for one, it's freaking cool. I mean, it's really cool to see people from all over the world who've looked at the sight.

yes, i know that's vain. But hey, i tell you so much about me, it's nice to know a little about you--the general area you're from, how often you've glanced at this, your social security number... doesn't seem too intrusive.

I took it down last night because i was worried about how it would change the way i write (and more on this in a minute).

Then i thought i could just get by with one of those how-many-times-people-have-seen-this counter.

But i couldn't find one.

so, back to the map.

and as far as how it will change my writing, i think it will make it better. seeing more and more people from different places take the time to merely load the page makes me want it to be better for them.

hey

so, i just gotta little freaked out, because i was seeing that a couple of people, strangers, really, were reading me.

There's someone out there who's checking things out and although i'm anonymous, i have to admit that i broke down and told someone i was doing this.

so i assumed the person i told was reading it as a way of getting into my mind.

now i see other people actually reading it because...

well, for their own reasons.

so i took down the map thing. i like it better when it's just me writing and responding to the comments.

at first, i just wanted anyone to try and read.

now that i know some have tried, all i want is to go on.

so no more reminders of who's following. it flatters my ego enough to feel that some may chance upon this blog.

really, that's all i want.

not to be writing in oblivion.

so the map served its purpose. it let me know that some were reading.

and for some personal failing in myself, i couldn't continue this unless i knew that from time to time another human being chanced upon it.

but now i know that seems to happen.

so no counter.

no map.

no who last read when.

just back to writing and hoping that something i say will strike a cord with someone else.

which is all this ever was about.