Just reading Heidegger. It makes me lonely.
I have to admit, I don't get it all. Vast swaths of seeming
incomprehensibility. Yet I'd love to hash it out with someone.
But that's an ancillary point. The loneliness is deeper.
The therapist keeps saying (as do many others) I'm intellectualizing
things. Overly.
Which I'd be fine with, as a diagnosis, if it were that my feelings
were somehow being masked by this over-intellectualism (and I'm not
even that smart--unless what he means by intellectualism is
pretension, then I'm ok with that). But that's not what comes back.
What comes back is possibly useful but ultimately hackneyed. Somewhat
more than advice but less than wisdom.
I dunno. I guess I'm just bitching.
I shouldn't complain. I just got back from visiting my brother and in
many ways I felt less lonely over there. He gets me in a fundamental
way. A fundamental way--there are others, for instance, I couldn't
speak Heidegger with him. I could, but in trying to hash out what it
means he'd only disagree with him based on my attempts to communicate
what he was saying. Although the little Heidegger I brought up he
seemed to agree with. But he gets me. And I guess I miss that.
Still and all, it would be nice to know someone and talk all
intellectual-like with them. About stuff, you know.
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