normally i wouldn't do this (yeah, right)

i'm tnt dynamite.

how'd i go in a moment from serenely praying for peace and love to borderline rageaholic behavior?

Give you two guesses and the first one doesn't count. that's right, momster.

she's been active today. one voice mail, one email.

and i can't stand it.

makes me flipping mad. talked to the shrink about it and he wants me to go the hard way. which i'm trying for both of our sakes.

but motherflippin what's a brother got to do to be left alone?

after all, i made my bed.

of course, when i was picking the womb, couldn't really help the fact that i'm colorblind (well, not any more).

and you know, this helps me. and if it doesn't help you, just ignore it. this post or everything i have to say. choice is yours.

so, here's where we find ourselves. something like fourty some hours away from therapy, getting stoned on wine (slowly) and waiting for anyone to return my phone calls. (actually got my new jersey connection--said he'd get me back after unpacks and showers).

maybe romanian tonight. but eating out twice in one day seems a little decadent when i've got something like $380 in the bank (not sure that--did i unwittingly pay rent this month?)

so, so, so...

guess i'm all tuckered out.

i suppose three posts in as many minutes will do that.

to end on a high note--well, let's just keep this between you and me--i'm generally not happy with recent developments in south east asia, if you know what i mean.