because I need more to worry about, mom called.

total guilt trip.

sorry if this one's negative. just sayin

she wants me to take more responsibility. because... well, because... if i were you i'd talk to the philly shrink.

not that you're listening.

because you just do what you want. and i encourage it by responding.

well, i've got my armor on. and it's never like you listened anyway.

this one is too negative.

jezus. i don't like takin the name of the loard in vain.

and i don't want to get all wrapped up.

so why even respond.

the truth. it's an interesting to mom. she wants me to reaffirm what she already says. to totally fold. and i don't know what to say.

so fucking pissed.

yeah, i know it's my fault.

and it's my fault i'm wastin all my tallents.

so i'm not bein honest.

sorry for the length.

manipulation--another key term for mom.

god, i'm so embarrased by this post. guess that's why it's anonymous and i'm a coward.

you worry--it's a long way past that.

do you actually want to know how you can help me?

you don't know where the anger is? well.

one little positive--know how you can help me--be like my homegirl in dc--empathy not advice.

yeah, you're right, i don't know jack stuff about myself.

i know nothin.

again be honest.

you make me want to cut myself, but i'm not a teenage girl.

end point.

how do i get out of this conversation as fast as i can without comprimizing (sp) myself.

don't you have other things to do?

guess not.

there are others. that's true. lately, aside from some good ones, they've been makin themselves known.

again, how do i get out.

i'm not going to fold on the honesty and the responsibility. i'm takin it--on the cheek. and turn the other one. and take it again.

we're just not going to agree.

but i've got more patience than you do. i've got my armor on.

human. new term for mom. especially applied to me. by mom.

and atleast she remebers what i have.

bill, save me.

she is right about the drinkin. but how could i talk about the substance abuse without it. but that's no reason.

sorry for the pause had to refill my problem sauce.

oh, that's right, you're the internet, you don't notice when i walk away.

i am fragile. but i've got my armor on.

sometimes i forget other people. i don't know if that's her or me.

booze.

you've told me enough.

anger. it mostly comes out through sarcasm.

and do you really care--or am i just your trashcan.