Therapy the angry way

Been talking to the therapist about things that make me angry.

The list goes on and on. But he says it helps with the paranoia.

So here goes. I'm very angry with the fam. I didn't have one of those happy-go-lucky childhoods even though I appeared happy. It was a mask I felt I had to wear to please those around me upon whom my existence depended.

And my existence seemed precarious. That's what makes me angry. I was never given the illusion of safety. That I could be difficult, could want things, could fuck things up and it wouldn't be the end of the universe.

It always felt that way.

I'm also really angry about the way the sibs continue to treat me. They pick on me in mean spirited ways--make fun of my failures. And things that aren't even failures. Belittle my efforts and small victories.

I remember them making fun of my clothing while my father was dieing. I had given up my job to take care of him. Money was tight. I would have loved new clothes.

I'd want an apology for mean remark. Every injustice put upon me. Every time I was made to feel bad for being different.

Good luck with that one, fellow.