Sunday, December 13, 2009

a kind of freezing dread

There's a certain feeling I get.

And I'm getting it right now.

I haven't taken my medication today, and that usually makes it go away.

It's a kind of paralysis. A kind of dread and embarrassment for my life.

I really don't know why I keep postponing taking my drugs.

Sometimes I'm afraid they'll work too well.

Sometimes I'm afraid they won't work at all.

Sometimes I like feeling depressed.

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